im losing grip

2005-06-04T02:02:00.000+08:00

take all your big plans and BREAK 'em.
cos they all dont matter.
life's real BORING now
take all my plans and break them.
cos they NEVER work out
but i wun ever admit life sucks :)
okay, so im not okay (i promise)
i goin nuts.
racist jokes are flashing thru my head.
man.
NUTS.
anyway, im gonna stop blogging
cos its just me.
so let get retarded in here~

i really miss the old times.
but im not old yea? x)

life aint a bitch, til you ditch yourself

2005-06-02T01:10:00.000+08:00

what happens if every girl request for their boyfriends to pick the stars for them?
thank God it can't be done, or there wont be stars at night. x)

ahha. i rmb someone's bday.
but it's just too awkward larh.
afterall, im forgotten xP

im tinking of the time i, jonas n weihao all broke up with our gfs. it was NOT planned.
anyway, im over being lovesick.
though cheryl insists i am.
im love-free!
dota's getting boring too.

im just crapping.

im just bored-

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
yes, i'd miss you, babe

2005-05-30T20:47:00.000+08:00

im no superman.
im fallible.
yea. was abit down lately.
but im alrite now x)
i love my frens!
yea.
eng prelim oral tmr.
still coughing.
argh.
wish me good luck. :)

2005-05-28T23:51:00.000+08:00

nothing's goin right.
nothing's happening.
nothing sorta matters to me now.
nothing's brightening up my life.
just nothing.

this damned flu's just makes everything worse.
my chest hurts, not my heart, my lungs x)
argh. i dont want to cough!

so in the end it all sets in place.
gonna mug my life out soon.
missing-in-action, i will be
yoda style
argh.
im feeling nothing.
just nothing.

the lights are off.
the cup of tea's cold.
the picture on the wall's faded.
never was picture-perfect.
never once was a true-love-snapshot.
the table's filled with grafitti,
a carving of a hearts and an L.
amidst this, the ants scrabble.
crawling up the cup.
one fine ant plunges in the tea.
he screams for help frantically.
they all look helplessly.
some just turning away.
he makes the final futile brawl for survival.
loneliness sinks in.
he gives up his last breath.
there was no lifeline.
he gave up dreaming.

2005-05-27T23:46:00.000+08:00

o1. do yu feel lonely?
when im alone and my mind runs wild. enhanced with this high fever. x)

o2. do yu have a friend to talk deeply from heart to heart?
nah. i usually keep my trap shut on unhappy stuff. maybe marcus or jason when i really do.

o3. do yu have someone yu are interested in?
had. NO chance. even lost contact

o4. do yu have someone close to yu?
yes. they know who they are :)

o5. do yu think there is someone interested in yu?
i dont know.

o6. do yu like sending sms just to say hi to
friends?
when i was sec 1.

o7. what made yu stop chasing someone?
when she shows no interest with you, til the extent she ends off every msg you send with a single word. yea. a big "SCREW OFF MY LIFE" kinda thing.jus requires common sense

o8. who is very often chatting with yu?
usually my church frens. im a sensible guy with sensible words afterall yea? okay maybe not x)

o9. are yu romantic?
if you're a girl, answer this for me. (does not apply to gays)

1o. have y ever been hurt by the person yu love?
of course. that's the reason im trying so har to forget her.

11. have yu ever hurt someone?
ya. and im really SORRY.

12. which one is more often... hurting or getting
hurt?
basically, both suck and blow. but i'll prefer gettin hurt?

13. what can make yu forget that someone has
ever hurt you?
i dont know. if anyone knows it, TELL ME PLEASE.x)

14. if yu've been hurt, do yu want to have a
revenge?
nah what's the use? instead of the usual lovebirds-do-to-be-together scenario, you will have a go-down-with-me-cos-u-hurt-me scenario. i aint no psychopath.

15. have yu ever fell in love?
yep. sweet romance with a real bitter end. if you minus the "bitter end". it would just be so sweet x)

im so bored that i did this survey.
boredom + sickness = KILLS.
im dying. argh

2005-05-23T23:07:00.000+08:00

Staring out the rain with a heavy heart,
Your eyes revelates your thoughts.
these pictures of you,
my epitomes of happiness.

Amidst this silence, a wake-up call.
your voice pulls me back relentlessly.
i was enamored,
yet you were never in love.

in the middle of the night, im screaming out loud.
im caught in this vortex of desolation
i make a silent prayer, someone save me
somewhere in his grace

sitting back here, with a broken invocation,
caught in this vapors of isolation
you left me out,
i found no solace.

laying down right here, im feeling so lonely.
my paper heart's ripped and it's bleeding.
in this despair,
i whisper a prayer.

in the middle of the night, im screaming out loud.
im caught in this vortex of desolation
i make a silent prayer, someone save me
somewhere in his grace

Somewhere in his grace, [you will save me]
Somewhere in his grace, [you will find me]
somewhere in his grace..
i'd wish you here

she's in love.
but it aint you.
if you're feeling this,
this song is dedicated to you guys. :)
even mickey has minnie.
but i aint gonna scream my lungs out for what will never be mine.

got rather good results for the latest tests.
the busy days are just starting

2005-05-22T01:04:00.000+08:00

having a fatal urge for drinking.
talk about fatal addictions.
haa. smoking aint really cool.

i've deleted everything that's gotta do with her
and it really hurts.
i just wanna go clarke quay.
CLARKE QUAY.

i've got back my shoe.
running away's revived.
we are now called: pray

taking part in the newspaper competition.
gonna jam like mad til then.
also, i will haf to mug my subjs too.
its just like an extra subject added to my prelims.
whoooo.
life just kicked off, though it was on the verge of breaking.

rose outta chaos,
fallen til the depths of sin,
yet, when all's over,
im alone in the corner

2005-05-21T00:19:00.000+08:00

"she was a gregarious girl. the world seemed to revolve around her; it included me. she had those kinda of spontaneous laughter that drove me crazy. she was everything i wasnt"
- extract from my compo written for prelims today

YODA!

yea man.
my prelims are over.
i am totally try to get over her.
just hope i wun see her.

whoo. im goin crazy.
or was i driving shaun crazy?
lameness.
im really goin crazy.
CRAZY.
starwars was okay.
the fighting scenes were great though

on the other hand, im gonna mug the whole june hols.
super bad results.
abit depressing.
nothing's really going right now.
band's ran away!
my results are screwed!
i cant get her outta my head!
arghh.

in the meanwhile,
i will just settle for being mad.

a slit of the wrist could solve it all.
do that if that's all you got.
cos im not settling for running away.

2005-05-19T21:42:00.000+08:00

ENGLISH PRELIMS TOMORROW.

wish me good luck

life starts at forty.
but i dying at sixteen.
sixteen aint sweet at all.

2005-05-18T00:14:00.000+08:00

;broken this fragile thing now,
and i cant, i cant pick up the pieces;
she's still on my mind,
part of me say: what if she has feelings for me.
another says: there's no way she could.
i told her before,
but it seemed so one-sided in the end.
if only i could get an answer.
but i guess she doesnt even visits my blog anymore.
;you're my only one
but do you feel the same;

arrrrr. on to some serious matter.
besides thinking abt her, school's the only thing that's killing me now.
eng prelims are scaring the hell outta me.
compre has screwed me up since in entered upper sec.
and right now i somehow hope that seh will drop me a msg?
RIGHT.

haha life's still good.
having lotsa fun.
amidst this stress period.
maybe it aint that bad after all

2005-05-15T22:52:00.000+08:00

life's good.
yellowcard rocks.
sports night was good.

now there's a upcoming competition for rock bands.
and it's in july.
so r(A) may be takin part in it.
details are not to be disclosed as of yet.
anyway, the problem is gettin the drummer back
i haven seen him or my shoe in a long while.
cos my shoe's with him.

YELLOWCARD ROCKS
the song yellowcard - only keeps echoeing in my head.
they just rock.

sports night.
the night with broken records.
many records were broken man.
sick, just sick.
there was this eurasian in the 400meter relay.
his teammate dropped the baton.
then he looked and scatched his head.
his teammate then shouted at him to pick the baton up
he picked it up
and ran from 6th to 3rd!
like what the heck.

i may not be able to forget her just yet.
at least i feel much better now.
i just need more time (:

2005-05-12T23:47:00.000+08:00

the dark side.
this week has been real dark.
family problems,
no one to talk to,
stressed up in school,
it feels different without my bro arnd.
one sided stuff like:
i tell my fren everything,
and he tells me nothing.
im in love, but she's not.
same ol' stuff, just a different day.

anyway, much better now.
less stress.
my mum's more reasonable.
like whoo.
louis is a GREAT teacher.
he made me see light in AMATHS.
and thnks to everyone else who was arnd.
though the one i wished was here,
was nv here.
anyway, that story's ended.
and im gettin rather fine.
she may just have forgotten abt me.
MUCH BETTER.
lotsa stuff off my chest.

i saw light at the end of the tunnel,
wait a min, why isit flickering? NOOOO.
x)

2005-05-09T23:58:00.000+08:00

Love's in the air, but im not breathing in any.
Trouble's brewing, but im not the ingredient.

yea THAT's ME. x)
will be real busy for these few weeks,
so bear with it? :)
love's not in my league now.
im just to busy to bother abt other peeps probs.
gonna be missing in action soon.

life hasnt been smooth.
just negative
STRESSED.
heartACHES.
positively,
im still living :)
i just need someone to talk to.

a breakfast 17'01'05
a gig on 20'01'05
there was this ger.
she drove me crazy.
i tot we had a chance.
i gave it a shot.
it didnt turn out
she wasnt there,
when i turned 16
i wasnt there,
on valentines day
i bot a valentines present
that i never gave her
it was just too late
i knew i dint haf a chance
i withheld some hope
it became obvious with time
she felt nothing for me
it took awhile,
guess im finally over her.
life just got hectic

im counting down the days. one story's ended :)

2005-05-08T23:48:00.000+08:00

mtv asia 2 $2 bill ROCKS
linkin parkin meteora live.
the killlers live
the used live
while im trying to do my hw.
if not for these i would dead by now.
just create a RAP n remixed some linkin park songs.

i need a place for my head.
cos in the end, it doesnt matter.
i wanna runaway n be in another place,
cos i hate it ween u dont understand.

Story of a boy-

Listen everybody, this is a story of me
a story bout my love, a story of her.
lives intertwined, i guess its true.
they called sweet 16, but it wasnt for me.
she was almost 15 when we got along.
she had her boo and it all was sound.
but one day she found out that he just wasnt.
that's about the time that i came in.
she sparked me off, and kept me burning.
my heart beat so fast when she was around.
then someday, she told me i wasnt
i saw it coming, she left me to burn
but when it all was over, i came to sense.
there's no crashing for what wasnt yours

And so the story ends x)
bored.bored.boredom

2005-05-08T01:00:00.000+08:00

major announcements:

ben is quitting dotA
QUITTING.
it's gonna be once a wk only fer here on.

ben is gonna stop being racist,
cos its WRONG.
judge and be judged yea

ben is goin into full mugging mode
as from next week.
FULL-TIME.
fun's gonna become part-time.

and ben has also almost gotten over her
except for occasional moments x)

that's its.
okay back to first person view.
im gonna be mia real soon.
stress.
O's in 170 days.
prelims is 60 days.

anyway, ben is a real good boy.

im not crazy, im just a little unwell

2005-05-04T23:12:00.000+08:00

love-lorn porn-torn john was borned corny and horny

okay, that was corny.
how about imgaining skaterboy's chorus with this lyrics:

he was her waiter boy
that sexy naughty horny boy
he wasnt good enough for her

man. that just wrong.
how about sth racist?

what do you call 4 blacks in a car?
ans: tinted windows

WRONG.

im just in the wrong mood right now.
tired frm mugging, sicka of doin hw,
slappin myself when i tink of her.
im abit messed up now.

but nonetheless, benn is still a good boy.
and so, he is gonna do his homework
so, pray for him that he wont slp :)

2005-05-04T00:14:00.000+08:00

i am not the Pope.
imagine pple adding me in frenster tinkin i am.
nah that will nv happen.

i cant believe im studying.
i dun even haf mid yrs.
or at least they dont count.

im tinkin that i just may have the wierdest motivation fer Os.
im just tinkin of enjoy the aft-the-Os period.
clarke quay
orchard
pool
dotA
and of course...

i hate chi.
i haf a chi test tmr.
higher chi test
bored
dying.
still studying.
kiss me goodnight

2005-05-03T00:39:00.000+08:00

tdy, was a normal day, not a holi-day
at least it dint felt like one.
but still it was cool.
revised physics n abit of chi.
played dotA.
and learnt photographic memory :)
it WORKS.

im still tinkin of her.
slap me slap me
it just feels awkward to see her.
man. slap sense into me.

sometimes judging leads to judgement.
this hit me wen i was reading the bible.
yea. had a rather hard week.
but i guess its all alright now :)

2005-05-01T15:40:00.000+08:00

im home. early for sun?
yea. change of plans, forgot abt me.
so im home early on a sun.
i dont wanna be home.
dont wanna see my mom.
so guess im goin lib study.
den mebbe catch a movie wif jeff they all tonite.

considering taking leave from legion.
shud i?

its normal for guys to go where girls are.
so i cant blame anyone.
anyway, freakin bored now.
gotta go lib now. (:

take all my plans and break 'em
cos i dint matter from the start

2005-05-01T00:02:00.000+08:00

cos its sucks wen there's this ger in your head
you know it cant be, but your heart bears hope
and you just can't fall for another ger.

dotA, dotA, and more dotA.
vengeful spirit, nerubian assasin, zeus, slithereen guard.
dotA's just in my head.

i wish someone out there could take all this stress on me now.
i having problems coping wif sec four life, without a cca.
my mum's goin bonkers suddenly, literally.
losing her temper on me n my dad.
i seriously just wanna stay away from home right now.

yea, just another rough patch.
i still as crazy as usual though :)

cos i can't find anyone to confide in,
in the end, its all in me, me against me.

2005-04-27T23:05:00.000+08:00

your a bitch, ought to ditch
im gettin a stitch, cos ur a witch
nv gettin hitch, switch me outta pitch.
ITCH-y

bitch me
ditch me
hitch me
switch me
stitch me
pitch me
nah im jus itch-y,
u witch. x)

see how bored im gettin?
chem test tmr. bored.
bad day. driving me nuts.
slap me wen i tink of her.

on the other hand, 2 half days!
whoo!

i really wish upon a star
that i never met her lar

2005-04-26T22:40:00.000+08:00

write testimonials fer me.
nobody returns my testimonials.

i have ike 6 expository to ffinish now.
really packed nowadays
argh.
and im still tinkin of her.
NOOOOOOO.
slap sense into me someone.
i nida concentrate x)

i had an outburst on my teacher tdy.
lately alot of outburst.
im goin mad alr.
told andrea to call the casket and she say "choi"
wun anyone call the ccasket for me?
saint joseph dying aid preferbly.
thnks :)

2005-04-25T22:10:00.000+08:00

whoo. running away has officially ran away.

man. two tests tmr.
i am supposed to study
that's why im here :)

my nicks now varies
frm bobdog to the pope
what the heck?

so what if i haven got over her?
i've given up, so it does not affect me
haha at times, i really hoped i nv met her

2005-04-24T22:37:00.000+08:00

takin a break frm chem.
yea. jus imagine this scenario.

your hungry.
evrybody ate.
you haf a test tmr
ur really tired.
u check ur hp,
the inbox just does not haf that name.
u then check the time,
its been one hour.
u take a break on ur comp
there's still nth still.
what a boring nite.

2005-04-24T20:42:00.000+08:00

sushi mania.
real good sushi bufet tdy.
real full.
good food.

sucked at pooltdy
pah jiao
what the heck
real bad larh.
i wan a rematch!

fell out wif my parents
just sorted evryting out.

haha. im hungry now.
haven ate dinner
jus realised that.
yea. but there's noone to eat dinner wif
evryone's eaten.
heh. bored and hungry.
guess im jus gonna slp earlier x)

haha chatting wif justice low now~
n marcus too.
it's a fact that he's got all the gers xP
gotta go study chem soon

the little ger that lights up my life (:

2005-04-24T00:45:00.000+08:00

i'm no more the old me :)

whoo. guess who's a great movie.
racist comedy x)
towned abit tdy.
i've realised how far i've drifted frm some peeps
i actually towned evry single day fer the 1st half of last yr.
partially due to my skate board
i still love it, but i tink it's rotting.

yepp. jus saw this on the net.
"i wish upon a star,
that i never met her lar"
yea peeps. dun wry.
i've totally gotten over her.
yea man. it's not like we cant be frens.

on the other hand,
im really gonna break loose aft Os seriously loose.
thanks to you guys who are tempting me to ______
well, if im gonna get back to it,
its gonna be aft the Os.

haha feel real great now.
my mind's somewhere in orchard now.
really miss those times.
im goin back real soon peeps :)

2005-04-23T01:29:00.000+08:00

whoo. congrats to andrea. nanyang girls got gold wif honours! only 3 schools in singapore.
congrats to jennifer too. scmb got gold with honours too.

haha. as fer me. no cca.
shud nv haf quit basketball.
but tinking back, i would have joined bowling.

THANKS LORD.
He has almost answered all my prayers.
as in answers, literally.
yea. feeliin great.

picking up those broken pieces of friendships.
things are goin much more smoother now.
much more fun in school.
by the way, glen SHAVED.
anyway, evryting works both ways.
relationships n friendships.
haha mine's totally screwed.

jeff and fengyao are driving me mad in school at times.
glen too.
haha but mad in a sense of fun too. x)

yea, and lookin at mark's church commitments,
i've realised i've been drifting away frm church a little.
heh. the big OOOOOOs fault.

our church study group's a failure.
i guess it's time to end it.
most of the time its only me.
jus leave it on sun aftns.

Let go. yea. im trying to.
it's hard, and it hurts.
but i'll try :)

good luck to jasmine's tests tmr.

but you never knew me

2005-04-20T23:08:00.000+08:00

TEMPORARY full-time NERDS x)

whoo. life's really gettin tiring!
study, study, study for o'lvl.
okay tdy was not that bad la.
studied at cafe acrtel.
spent a good 18 buck there fer lunch..
shit. exceeded my budget
yea. den we studied hist.
kept goin on abt kevin stuck in sec 3.
haha. damn bad larh. but it just went on.

yea. so i've just revise chinese n hist.
now onto eng journal entries.
yea. its time for me to get serious.

true-love snaphots.
haha. all i know there's this snapshot in my head.
it doesnt go away.
it cant be true love.
chances are zero.

whoo. im gettin realy hyper nowdays.
i wanna town real bad
im gettin desperate fer towning.
haha. 2 and a half wks since i stepped into orchard!
i wanna buy clothes.

scandalous pissa..
ME
haha yea. it's still on.
its gonn be time to end this shit soon.
rite babies? xP

2005-04-19T20:58:00.000+08:00

ever heard of: it's pain when your loved one does not loved you. but i hurst even more wen u see her loving another guy?
haha well, it true man.
trust me on that

school was great tdy.
returned to school.
paul ng asked me why i was absent
i said tests make me sick
and i gave him the mc.
paul's pants got torn.
he went to the bookshop
only to have aaron rip it wider.
saw brandon (a black eurasian) pushing mervyn
and we shouted racial riot

yea. haha the pacifier is real cool.
super funny.
from gers kicking groins to duck biting groins
and even the "nipple crrippler"
which is defined as the ultimate move of desperation.
haa, the show's just funny.

and here's an extract frm a compo titled "abused" i wrote

"the alarm rang. i woke up just to see the peeling ceiling. the floor was dusty as usual - no one cleant it. i forced myself out of bed, it creaked like it was going to break any moment; fortunately for me, it never did. shutting the "buzzy" fan, i went ahead to wear my uniform. putting on that tattered shoes, i exited my empty apartment.

my name is.. well, i guess no one wants to know. i was just another casualty of this decayed society. my parents got married just because my mother was conceiving me. In simple terms, a shotgun marriage. my father had been jobless ever since i had common sense. "was this society too demanding? or was it just my dad?", i had always wondered. well, i guess it must have been the latter. my mother was the bread-winner of the family.however, she "won bread" just fer her excessive gambling habits. This was my life - a real pathetic one. my father alway hit my mother for money. while, the both hit me. thay had always loathed me fer my very existance. to them, i was nothing but a living burden. to me, i did not even knew why i existed. i guess God must have his reasons, though he never showed me why
....................................................( story ends with him killing his father)

well, for a moment i wished to see some love in his eyes. at least in his last moments. i never did. i hated returning home, knowing that no one evr loved me. it was just an empty apartment. i wished someone dear would take me away. even an orphan was better off than me. though they never knew love, they had the chance to. love denied me since birth, or was love denied of me? love was just a distorted perception to me. i was a hated kid, an abused kid.."

haa. i just distord counting crows - accidentally in love.
man. what the hell's goin through my head?

whoo. im still scandalous. x)

2005-04-18T13:37:00.000+08:00

jeff's not in sch
ziyan's not in sch
im not in sch.
man, we are all sick pple xP

there are five things
town.
clarke quay.
jam.
read to kill a mockingbird.
and skate.

since i've got nth better to do fer now.
im gonna blog on the car wash
yes. the CAR WASH
7a.m. to 12.30am, 6pm-7.30p.m on sun
i tink i washed abt 30 cars. with my grp
man. shagged.
the big mpvs were scary shit man.
intimidating.
well, at least there was a sense of achievement.
black cars are real nice to wash,
but they're hot, real hot, literally
and so i washed my dad's car too.
yea. sqeaky n 'shiny'

by the way i loved that black lexus we washed yest.

yea. and i went home sayin
"hey dad.. i wash ur car SO clean. any reward?"
there was none.

well im gonna be in sch til til real late evry tues n wed alr.
cos of the big letter OOOOOOs.
life's gonna get real hectic frm here on.
haa. im not gonna lose that 50 bucks

she's so cute wif that 'spastic' smile x)

2005-04-17T22:33:00.000+08:00

im scandalous.
but im lurving it.

the youth fund raising carwash tingy was great.
but im really feeling sick now
real sick

fyuocuk.
do you interpret dis as a word or "fuck you"
well i haf to say the latter to some bastard.

damn.
im sick. n i jus found out frm jeff that there's a chi n geog test tmr.
n jeff n ziyan aint goin sch.
haha im wondering..

well. my moods down.
everyones fallin out wif each other.
man.

no mood for a long entry.
i miss towning
i miss clarke quay
argh. im under 'reform'

on a brighter note, im scandalous
and i lurving it xP

whoo. jeanie in a bottle~

haha and im dependant?
check this-

Personality Disorder Test Results

Paranoid	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Schizoid	\|\|\|\|\|\|	22%
Schizotypal	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%
Antisocial	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Borderline	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Narcissistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|	26%
Dependent	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Obsessive-Compulsive	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

2005-04-17T01:08:00.000+08:00

its not that im not talking to the gers.
im just still sick n haf no mood to talk that much.

dotA! man. i miss towning.

2005-04-15T23:56:00.000+08:00

FLU IS OVER
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okie. im back here to blog in a healthier state
haha 60% of myself alr.

firstly. marina south ROCKS
haha damn cool place larh.
dotA rocks too.
i wanna buy battlechess!
but damn. ive got Os

haha i've got this damn good plan to renovate my rm.
and its approve
whoo
it will be arnd june i tink.

lol jasmine says she's guilty cos she's not studying.
in that case, im like forever guilty.
haa, well, at least i was dying yest
trying to study 17 chpts of phys.
haha n i secured like only4 marks outta 45 marks.
cool shit rite.
i looked arnd n evryone seemed to gif up.

okay. lastly. now i haf 2 study grps
church n school
school on tues n wed.
church on thurs n sun
so yea.
whoo.
buckin up fer Os
so wish me good luck!

haa yea. changed my blog song too.
found it real boring.

i just wanna play ignorant,
just wanna stay blissful n blind

2005-04-11T13:39:00.000+08:00

feeling real sick rite now.
dizzy.. giddy.. headache.. fever.. sorethroat.. cough.. bodyache.. running nose.. stomachache..
real shitty rite now.
but can almost see doubles now
whooo.. so cool.
dun wry not hallucinating.
haa.

yepp. n jus saw my nick's msn
someone slap me if i tink of her.
yea
SOMEONE SLAP ME IF I TINK OF HER.
cos i know its over.

wen ur home and u've got nth to do..
but jus slp n slp, ur body jus gets numb.
and then ur mind starts to wonder.
yea dat's wad's happening to me now.
im wondering~
if you dun wanna say anything at all,
im happy wondering~
haha okay. irrelevant.
my mind's really wondering away
noise makes me dizzy now.
argh. i feel like flying~
flying, flying~ im dying~
argh. i need to recover soon.

2005-04-10T01:05:00.000+08:00

whoo. movie marathon.
tues - Hostage
fri - House of Fury
sat - Be cool

and im like.. NEXT
haha cool movies
all worth to watch

Hostage - sadistic movie. great plot. lotsa bloodshed, quite saddening. four stars
House of fury - rather nice movie. gillian's a real cute babe. haha damn funny plot. wierd kungfu fighting. but still rather cool. but lotsa roles are really not needed. 3 1/2 stars
Be Cool - COOL. NICE. FUNNY. RANDOM. real random. wierd plot. makes u really wanna laff. the rock's gay in dis., the the show aint. it's GREAT. 5 stars.

that's all i haf fer the movie reviews.

nth guai lan to say in dis entry...

ahha okay. tdy WAS a bad day.
evryting was horrible.
pple who were supposed to call me dint.
went to xinmin, jus to find out my fren's were in a movie.
den we needed to buy a ticket to enter.
and it was half way.
super shit larh.
wondered arnd fer 2hrs like losers.
haha. lost my mood fer the whole day.
personally, i hated that funfair.
talk abt bein left out. haha
damn disappointed in evryting
went xinmin. nth to do. went back.
if luke wasn't there. it'll be worse
so yea.
evryting was NOT fun.
until i wenta watch the movie!
whoo
thank God man.
it made it a great day.

haha look on the bright side of life yea.
so im still high. lol.

damn. guys can be real jerks.
guys...
oops. im a guy! damn
eh no.. i lurve a bein a guy.
it's just that some guys are jerks.
and it tarnishes us bein guys. yea.
MAN. what the hell am i talking
well gotta go slp now

2005-04-04T23:36:00.000+08:00

man: i would hand you the world on a silver platter.

ger: NO. i wan a gold one. diamond's fine too

lol. been real crappy lately.
u know waad causes racism?
wen a chi slacks, "he relaking la"
wen an eurasian slacks, "he's chilling yea?'
wen malay slacks, " lazy matts"
haa. the world is a topsy turvy one.

if i could turn back the hands of time,
i would go back to the time you were here.
and i go burning like a fallin star,
hopin to fall into your arms once again.
but wen all hope's gone n done with,
i realised i lost you n i've gotta get over.

haha. yea. i've been tinking lately.
her face's still appearing in my mind.
hmm. mebbe it's time i really got over her

lol been real racist lately.
what's indians swimming? oilspill
what's malays running downhiill? mudslide
indians in a room? blacck-OUT.
HAHA
okay, i know im wrg.

my study group's forming well i guess.
i decided not to form a band in sch to take part in chma.
im still searching fer my dream guitar.

on a more serious n soleemn note,
please pray fer our deceased Pope John Paul II
may he rest in peace.

2005-04-02T01:02:00.000+08:00

slit our wrists like cheap coupons, death was on sale tdy
cut our throats like baked hotcakes, hot in demand
throw our lifes down the gutter, life's gettin cheap
sell our lifes like condom packs, life's a bitch.

lol. SHIT. that was sick.
dun wry. i dun believe in any of that
im jus writin wad came to my mind.
anyway, screw satanists.

yea. i know i've been real high lately
'busted' almost everyone in class
bern n manuel osso.
lol.
april fooled dennis.
man.
im real high.

2 dayss ago, we cyled to 3 churches
ihm, sfx n den bvm.
visited all the adoration chapels.
managed to get some peace inside.
haha. but im still high.

n now tdy, we cycleed to chomp chomp to eat supper.
witnessed a big quarrel between a guy wif BAD taste, n a aunty whho got 'touched'
n so the police cameeeee, n they got busted fer real.
haa.

man. evryone's telling me how great the simple plan concert was.
n i actually gave my ticket away....
jerr!!!!!!!
anyway the main reason was cos there were 7 gers goin, n me?
haaa.
n now they are goin on n on abt "SIMPLE PLAN, whooo"
yea.

wen a ger ends the convo, im not gonna persist.
yea. sometimes, wen a ger rplies wif 1 or 2 words,
she's hinting to you to "stop msging me"
yea. from experience n wad tiff said.
so anyway, im not gonna msg her anymore.
fer those who gt wad i mean lah =/

n here's a impt msg to my female frens out there

----
Message: A woman at a nightclub on Saturday night was taken by 5 men, who according to hospital and police reports, gang raped her before dumping her.Unable to remember the events of the evening, tests later confirmed the repeat rapes and along with traces of Rohypnol in her blood, was Progesterex, which is essentially a small sterilization pill.The drug is now being used by rapists at parties to rape AND sterilize their victims. Progesterex is available to vets to sterilize large animals. Rumour has it that Progesterex is being used together with Rohypnol, the date rape drug. As with Rohypnol, all they have to do is drop it into the girl's drink. The girl can't remember a thing the next morning, of all that had taken place the night before. Progesterex, which dissolves in drinks just as easily, is such that the victim doesn't conceive from the rape and the rapist needn't worry about having a paternity test identifying him months later.The drug's effects ARE NOT TEMPORARY- They are P*E*R*M*A*N*E*N*T! Progesterex was designed to sterilize horses. Any female who takes it WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO CONCEIVE. The weasels can get this drug from anyone who is in the vet school or any university.It's that easy, and Progesterex is about to break out big everywhere. Believe it or not, there are even sites on the Internet telling people how to use it. Please COPY (NOT FORWARD) this to everyone you know, especially girls. Be careful when you're out and don't leave your drink unattended. Please make the effort to PASS this on to all you know... Guys, please inform all your female friends and relatives.(advise them not to go those unhealthy Places too Often,BETTER QUIT !!!!!)The world now is Filled v SINS...no more PEACE and Safety.....avoid to be the Next Victim,minimise The Risk........
------

she's got the cutest eyes
of the bluest skies

2005-04-01T00:08:00.000+08:00

im browsing tru my songlist now..
seeing what song to try fer chma.
glen, if ur seeing this, THANK me.
man. took me 1/2 an hr.
now it's just up to whether we make the standard.
the band's not even totallyy formed yet.
and there's 3 wks more only?
lol

oh look, who's that flying?
isit bern? xP

hey, tthere's a physics test tmr?
hmm. interesting.

DAMNIT. our prelims are taken into accnt!
pure shit.
ahha bt i dun really mind actually.

yea. evryting's fine now.
if my chma last min ccrash band works out,
im really gonna be busy fer a while
so yea. i wanna be busy!
i wanna takee part in chma, if i can.
wish me luck.

2005-03-29T23:29:00.000+08:00

STOP PUTTING PRESSURE ON ME.

im really stuck in between everyone
damn it
fuck it
okay. wad's happening to all our frenship.
isit worth just that much?

im stuck in between clem.
damnit
luke's my fren. so is mark.
dun fall out man.
n dun pressure me.
dun get me stuck in the middle

im stuck in between ecnneret n decon.
wad u wan me to do?
decon = devil'sconsignment.
supposedly, satanic?
but we've had history man.
and now ecnerret's out to screw decon.
n im on good termswwif them too.
i wann protect n side u guys.
but i cant.
im neutral
im catholic
i duwanna take sides.
so stop pressuring me. DAMNIT

and my bgr's my baby.
my lovelife is jus screwed.
so screwed that u nv wanna know.
so i've ggiveen up alr.
so stop putting me wif that ger n dis ger.
my latest crush has also ended alr.
with the same old reasons, one-sided.

okay. dun pressure me.
stop gettin me stucck in between.
im gonna explode.

----
shut the fuck up and listen to me.
ur putting me in a dilema n i cant break clean
no sides no glory, cos its all breaking down
u wun get laid, cos they're coming fer me

ohhh yeaaa.
ohhh yeaaa.

all for glory, all fer fame.
ur selling ur soul the the devil below
now ur afraid cos ur gonna get stoned
but u are my fren, n ive gotta pull u out

you held on to me, but ur pulling me down

round and round like a merry-go-round.
pieces of me n pieces you
shatter them hard, glue them back
will it ever be the same again?
----

2005-03-28T23:01:00.000+08:00

WHERE'S HIS HAIR?

fr. john bosco shaved his head!! talk abt a makeover? his head goes from hairy to shiny!.....
----

imagine that on that newspaper. or rather, imagine this!

WHERE'S THEIR HAIR?

10000 parishioners shave bald with their parish priest, fr bosco! BVM, now known as the church of skinheads, haf now all "started anew".
----

man, imagine the gerls man. shiny heads. gerls + shiny heads = WRONG.
and who said u cant get high without drinking? im high now!

okay. the good friday act was GREAT.
thanks pple.
but i tink i screwed upmy part!
u noe wen the soldier chases the discipes away by shouting, "do you want to die with him?"
man.its so solemn, so saddening.
cos they ran away!
but guess what?
wen i shout,
the crowd laffs?
man.
erm.
wasit a miscuee?
den in the middle of the play,
the mockers hit my helmet off!
oh SHIT.
but it went on.
okay here's another entertaining part.
wen we were holding back the crowd,
marcus tipp of the spear push against my hand and wounded it.
n before i knew it, my hand was in a awkward position,
it was stuck between 2 speaars, and it was DAMN pain.
here the click.
leonard, the mockeer, saves me by holding the spear apart.
mocker saves the soldier!!
whoo hoo. touching yea?

okay.
as fer sat, we decorated 1200 candles fer Easter
and then, we stayed over at moses hse.
tiring.
we played xbox til 4!
den on sun, i was real shagged.
but i still played my part.
i helped both faith formation n legion man.
carryin pails n seellin candles kills
yea.
but im proud to announce that we gathered 900+ bucks of profit.
muahhahahaha
ben, ur the best x)

okok. dat's all man.
ive gotta write a zuowen on a bloodied haankerchief.
man, my chi succks so mucch that i nida analyse in eng n translate to chi.
argh

n okay, i n jerr, ended last yr.
it's really over wen i say it is.

2005-03-25T00:07:00.000+08:00

there's no use wellowing in self pity wen your down
jus grab a hand n stand up agn.

yea. watched passion of christ.
no one cud suffer half as much man.

and i haf no gf, no bgr prob.
it's all hist alr.
but i still wish you were here.
yea. but it's over.

n i am OKAY. yea man.
im really doin fine.
jus a lil messed up rite now.

i haf nth mucch to say tdy.
anyway, love's in the air.
good luck bro. ;)

2005-03-23T21:17:00.000+08:00

quote of the day: opinions are like asssholes, evryone has one.

maan. its gettin hectic eevrywheere that i go.
life's so packed now.
and so they say sec 4 life is hectic..

abt the passion play yest..
i've realised i can't act fer nuts.
n oso how good cldds was,
if not fer those china bastards.
haa.
"you want to die with him?"
dat was my line
n imagine if the reply is
"oh yeah man, hmph hmph. bleaahh"
man, 1 slash acrosss their throats.
hahha i guess noone'ss understanding wad dis is abt.

dintt go to sch tdy.
too tired aft chiongin my hw.
wenta ta christina's bday party.
was very crappy there.
haha jus crapped alot.

n i am okay!
its just gettin chaotic inside my head.

how long can i keep the promise to you?
how long can i give in to my frens?
how long will dis take?

2005-03-22T23:48:00.000+08:00

it's been sucha long road
gettin to know ya
gettin to understand you
and we grinded those curbs
we gapped those drains
fantasizing abt being rockstars
scoring those scorched goals.
yea. wee've been so close.
and this aint a love song
this is our friendship.
yea. you n me, we had history
dreaming of maakin those killer grind
putting off slash's solos
gettin screwed by politics
history dude.
but our friendship has withered.
the tea's out cold.
the leaves shrivelled yellow.
so long haf we not chilled
drifting into our own paths,
you've changed.
everyboddy's changing, so am i
but you've turned off the wrong trrack
and your so far down
your so deep in
i cant pull you out anymore.
is this the end of our neglected friendship?
you've been a good friend.
one of the best i ever had
hope you've turn back someday
and we culd warm up this cuppa cold tea.
friends forever.

yea man. dis's dedicated to one of the best fren i've ever had.
anyway, i've gott hw tdy. passion play eearlier on. so yea..
see me die. muahahhahaha. x)

2005-03-21T21:33:00.000+08:00

it's 7 o'clock in the cold hard morning
the slp's not enuff, bt i still get goin
packing my bag full shit politics
just to getta school stone away

the morning gets on, hell breaks loose
my teacher's getting her pms-es
crazy asses gettin whooped all over
stuck up snobs ssuccking up your asses

i dun wanna be part this trend
we're gonna flip this twisted world
bring in a new rock generation
andd rrock, and rock, and ROCKKKK

-just wanna rock

yea. another twisted song by ME
ahha. yea. school drives me nuts.
all in this song
two wwords: school sucks.
or rather lessoons sucks.
sch iss still fun overall.
yeaa.

and OKAY.
im gonna be mean now man.
okay. im not proud tto ssay i've got my heart broken in a million almost a millions times
okay that's exaggerated, but yea.
if you like someone, TELL that someone.
im real ssicka "i tot you knew", "if only you knew"..
man. just TELL that someone okay?
u dun expect evrone too see rite through you n read your man.
how am i suppose to reaad the words you never said?
man. u contradict the fact that u want me around.
it makes things easy both sided.
n u dun runaway wen u see that someone.
it makes things worse.
communicate.
interact.
yepp.
haha. im a failure in love. man
just hopin others wun.
no offense but yeea.
just advices.
love makes the world go round afterall yea?
cheers x)

2005-03-20T21:06:00.000+08:00

outta topic, outta words
just where shud we begin?
i try to speak, try to talk
but no one ever listens
im gettin ignored, always
noone ever cares
bt im gettin sick of this
n im breakin down,
cos no one ever hears me

-unheard

yea dat's verse 2 to the song
haha i get insspired wen im rreally unheard.
i was the kpt at 401 jus now
den i realise i was outta topic!
as in i cudnn't say anything at all.
haha den aall the sudden i felt super awkward
n i was seating at the farend sumore
ya. sso i went over to louis table.
ahhh. much better.
made some ego statemeents though.

ye onto the legion outddoor function.
it wwaas real great
had lotsa fun swimming
in the dirty waters.
dden had somme wreestling in the sea.
dden hadd ssome beach soccer too!
but only gers cud sccore.
haa.
chilled the nite before at moses hse sumore.
crapped wif david, luke n louise
so yea.
my batt went flat.
super tiredd aft dat.
even the bbq steamboat aft dat i was ompletely knocked out.
yea. n im still shagged now.

n i've got some hw to clear?
if only i haad a study grp.
trying to form one.
but got almost noone!
argh.

you expect me to read the words you dun say
u contradict the fact that you still wan me arnd.
gers mess my mind at times.
it makes things awkward at times.
i dun even know ur feeelings anymore.

the spotlight is off me,

2005-03-18T03:03:00.000+08:00

the spotlight is off me,
and im fading away.
everybody's happy,
and i guess that's okay.
but wen the light's turned off,
i don't know how to get along.
cos in this midst of silence,
no one ever hears me
and i go like a falling star
to the depths of the ocean, im falling
please stop this pain im feeling
wen no one ever hears me

-unheard

yea, that's a song im making now.
it's titled unheard.
yepp. fer all the times i go unheard.

okay tddy's a rather okay day.
watched hitch.
it wwas simply great.
but life got boring aft dat.
was outta place n outta topic.
what more can i say yea?
yes, unhearrd :)

so went to leonard's bday party.
was rather okay too.
nth much really happened.
the dog jumped on me 3 times though.

so i wenta play dota wiff mark
okay lor, got thrashed agn.
haha it sucks wen noone ever teaches you
and wen there's miscommunication
yea, so met chris n wenta blessed sacrament.
yea, chilled at 401 til abt 1.30?
haha here was the better part of the day.
crapped alot.
felt much better
made the song aft gettin inspired?

;the world goes on fine,
cos everyone's happy
though your not;

2005-03-14T01:01:00.000+08:00

is the worldd spinning around me?
or am i just spinning?

which mental institution's named aft raffles?

raffles institution!

okay. dun laff. i just tryin to make it cold arnd here.

why am i always in a spot?!
haha.
frens, gers
frens
gers
wad happens wen ur cot between them?
hmmm.
wad happens wen ur good fren hides stuff frm you?
hmm. (agn)

nvm. im on a mental streak now.
cant care that much.
just went fer a spin at the playground
vissiteed blessed sacrament too.
oh well.

how cud i read the words you never said.
sry that i never knew your feeelings.

made my mistakes, let you down
n i can't, i can't hold on fer too long

2005-03-13T01:50:00.000+08:00

it sucks wen u try to start convo wif gers
n its turn out like this.

"where's _____?"

"coming"

"then wad ur doin ltr?"

"nothing"

okay. it sorta rythmes larh.
but if ur the guy, it just sucks.
i feel like im a ger magnet
as in one that repels them away.
haa

haha tdy's bbq was qquite okay
cot up wif some of my ol' time frens
evrybody's changing~
in a good way, manaaged to catch up wif the male frens
in a bad way,, got dao-ed by the gers
damn. i feel loserfied.

n now i find my lovelife so screwed
no gers ever attracted to me.
haha n rumours goin arnd that gers go crazy over me
right. anyway, gtting cot inn between two ger is real scewed.

haha as fer now.
im jus gonna be crazy.
i've gotta catch up wif my slp man.
real marathon.

if i could find you now, things wud get better

2005-03-12T02:59:00.000+08:00

funfact: taxi drivers jus hate the government.

okay! its like 3.00am in thee mornng now.
i went catch dis movie, son of the mask.
warning to evryone out there: DUN WATCH THIS DAMN SHOW
okay lemme see..
its corny
its cheesy
dere's no plot
the mask is useless.
the baby is the most powerful.
am i being aa spoiler here?
anyway, jus dun watch it.
it sucks n blows.

okay. on to aa brighter tone
CJC's concert ROCKED
literally
it rocked. it was all rock
vocals hitting all the tone.
KNOCKING ON HEAVENS DOORS!
rocker chick singing my immortal
whoa.
sexy solos.
omg. im super motivated to rock now.

im really goin craazy nowadays.
im a mad boy during sch.
makin my form teacher go nuts, literally?
haa.
im even madder aft sch?
chiong LAN
chiong pool
jus hangin out
having fun, lotsa fun
n ddrinking.
yea.
im really goin crazy.
wen am i gonna study?

and i need watch my BUDGET!

tmr there's homecoming day at 8.15
bt im not goin
den there's passion play rehearsal at 1.30!
n i've gotta go.
den there's our bbq at 7.30!
u guys better go!

wen it's all over, there's noone left
i think of you, walking my lonely road.

2005-03-06T21:15:00.000+08:00

"hey. go look at the wall mor often!"

"why?"

"cos it's yellow!"

"so what's abt that?"

"aint it the colour of your skin?!"

how dis fer a change. a racist joke directed to us CHINESE

so high so high
go fly kite!

haha sumtimes i wish i cud stay high forever
trace the moment and last forever~
yea i jus wanna do that
juus stay sso high that all u wanna do is fly kite!

haha im suffering frm a lack of energy now.
DRAINED.
i was too active yest.

wad's a 'relationship' w/o contact?
i guesss its over~

u were so close. u were always there. bt i nv cherished you.
cos we lost it all. nth lasts forever~

haaha at least the past few days were great
had lotsa fun wif marrk, manuel, david, michael they all.
bastarrd each other.
haha and so came abt the racist joke on top.
the bbq was blaast!
were were ssimply radical
bt i tink i cud sense pple crying wen we started singin!
haa. x)
simply madness.

yea had lotsa fun play pool too.
caught up wif my old time frens.
haha.
the pool center at beauty world centre actually has framed porn hangin arnd.
sick shit.

haha i really feel like flying kite now.
whooo. x)
my blog's becoming an all-bboys blog now.
haa. so is legion
damnit.
argh
we nida strike a balance in ying n yang!
haha =X
okok

im gonna fly kite now.

2005-03-03T23:34:00.000+08:00

"hey mum, sry fer coming home late. i was spinning around, literally"

"u were what?"

"sry but my head's still spinning. talk to you later."

-mum nags on-

okay on to my entry
tdy was great
i went to sch.
deere wasn't any 'real lesssons' if ya get wad i mean
my chem teacher wwass crappin abt me gettin 30/40 fer tmr's chem test.
oh yea. the chem test! yea gonna get to that later.
it's always later larh. x)

aft skl. went to j8.
ate tim sum!
dere went 10 bucks.
the fried rice was simply great.
spoon-lickin good?

yea. den went ta play pool!
took a taxi to beaauty world center at bukit timah
pool was jus great
i mean i was crap
bt the game was great
bt actually im great
dat's why the game was great
forget it. im jus greeat yea?
hhaha xP

den we went ta jeremy's condo
in a taxi
his condo rocks
damn nice
playe bbball
socccer....
and jus laming arnd.
okay so great now i owe erwin n kevin 4 buccks each. x)
taxi fare.

den i rushed back in a BUS
yea
fer t.e.g
we ended up a dogs n bears.
n soon the little furry creatures!
haha no. we jus ccrapped larh.

okay now comes the thrilling paart
i, david. michael n manuel wnet taa 401 to chill
yea.. den wwe went to the playground.
arh. tha playground!
u noe the spinning tings arrnd there?
yea we spinned a min of 100 rounds there?
duels sumore.
i went back wwif my headspinning.
it still is.
n i crapped wif mah mummy like in the starting part of dis entry

-drunk without drinking-

hey. but i really dun disapprove drinking. xD

yea dat's my day.
haha it was great.

okay. on another note. i got an A2 fer chi!
yea. im sry fer not smsing ya peeps laarh.
i decided to tell dose that asked.
yea.
so now you all know!
haha x)

life is great
spinning around a playground

2005-02-27T22:10:00.000+08:00

HAHA whooooo.
went to visit the blessed sacrament jus now
feelin much better. i haf peace now!!!!!
WHOOOOO

okay. i 've made a decision to my priorities alr
im not gonna create trouble fer anyone alr
not gonna distract anyone!
solve my own shit yea?
hahah
now much more relaxed!
whooooooooooooooooooooo.

on the other hand im still messed up!
bt much better! x)

we're hopeless blissful n blind
we're blindly blissful in blood

2005-02-27T18:57:00.000+08:00

buddy or not? just born in a bad spot.

the roti prata at seragoon gardens jus rocks man
jus ate there wif my parents
guessed my mom was feelin lonely aft my bro left. so yep.
once she settles down its back to my life.

yeaa. i've crappin alot lately.
was real down n borededd.
yea. n WHO was there?!
haha nvm. it's all over x)

my hp's jus feelin empty
haha. my inbox's near empty =X
yea.
it's so patheticc~
it makes no sense at all~

yepp. n i will not be so free to help pple now
cos i've gotta help myself.
im lost n empty now.
haha. bt at least i feel light =haha yea. i nida get my life back
x)

when ur picture becomes tainted

2005-02-26T23:02:00.000+08:00

i've forgot how it began
mebbe it was just a feeling fer you
suddenly i found myself fallin fer you
but it all doesn't matter anymore
ai hen jian dan~

tdy was a BORING day
yea
anyway
tmr morning mass agn
i guess no1's gonna wake up agn too
damn de-motivated to go
evry sun im alone wen evry1 who's supposed to come jus slps on
i really tired
tired of alot of stuff
gimme a break!

im really sry jenn!
i 've been really held up lately.
damn stressed.
yea. SRY!

haha okay. i'm still messed up now.
im stressed over lotsa stuff
anyway my com has totally crashed
n my bro has left fer aussie alr.
haha miss the crappin times wif him
hai. bball, soccer, swimming, pool, n jus pure crappin.
haha yea. rawk on bro!

yea so bck to ME
haha yea, it's nv abt me bt now it IS.
HAHA okay im jus lame
boredom jus gets to you
anyway, im feeelin very empty now.
real empty larrh
damn wierd feeling
i jus wanna be sec 1 agn!
i jus wanna live!

YMA baattle of the bands!
requesting for info!
can someone pls msg me if u haf any info thx!

i've nv really had any contact wif her lately
she's gottacconcentrate on her studies
startin to feel that there's no hope in it
isit so one-sided?

haha. i wanna be back in sec 1!
the soccer til 7 evvryday!
or sec 3!
skate or die spirit!
whooooooooooo.
okay all these haf ended fer me
at least this yr has brot me some real cool memories yea?
haha ycs champs!
forming of r(A)
meetin her
my bday party!
v'day
chillin out wif my classmates
yea. haha its not so bad aft all

anyway im still feeling empty isit my stomach? x)

ahha yea. so i took quite a few stupid pics in sch lately
gonna upload it soon.

jus gimme a break
lemme mend my broken life

2005-02-23T23:25:00.000+08:00

it's really hard to breathe now
my mind's in a state of mess.
my com's abit screwed too.
damn.
lotsa stuff up my mind.
argh
bro leavin on fri
o'lvl result on fri

im jus messed up now.

2005-02-22T22:59:00.000+08:00

cos we're in too deep.

yea. cny was jus great fer me larh.
150 - 200 bucks won
frm blackjack, poker n daidee
lotsa hongbao money
the ycs win.
cny was great
GREAT
GREAT

haha anyway. i failed the chi test
damn
i hope i can still take higher chi.
bt dere's only a 20% chance of that happening.
oh well.

she's always on my mind~
frm the time i wake up til i close my eyes~
and only love can say~

my bro's oso goin back to aussie. :(
hai.
feeling a lil sad abt it.
fri he's leaving, fri im gettin my O's results.
tinkin abt it jus makes me wanna~
haha
hai.
jus hopin fri nv comes.

yea. n i will be abit busy dis wk.
eating dinner hme evryday i guess.
til fri.
fri
fri
fri
friday, friday, friday, friday, friday.
if i break down who would be dere?
haha nvmnvm.

Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,
Up above in my head, instead of going under.
Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,
Up above in my head, instead of going under.
Instead of going under.

2005-02-20T23:04:00.000+08:00

i jus won money agn!
really sry to dose who contributed agn.
haha xP

haha thnks to evryone who congratulated us! lynette, ah ger (aaron's "ERM"?), jenn, andrea, moses, angie, macrina, sebby... SO MANY

thnks to evryone n ting who made this successful.

Aaron
Marcus
Abriel
Nick
Audi 3

thnks agn to all the supporters! jeff, yl, hanqi, gengrong, justin and kevin fer cheering so damn loudly. louis, mark, luke, christina, samantha, bernadette, mose, sebby, ben chng, calvin, fabian, manuel! thnk ALOT.

special mention to marcus who really made this whole ting a success. the guy with the common sense and planning. thnks alot dude. rawk on dude \m/

most important.

thank GOD (:

haha n oso dedicate dis trophy to the special ger out there
u noe who you are x)

yea. i lurve my family too. haha. they cheered me on too!

YCS Music Festival Talentime 2005 Champs
Catholic High
running (A)way's debut,
our debut.
running (A)way's first win,
our first win.
our first trophy
running (A)way's first achievement,
our great feeling.

Thanks to all.
Thank GOD.

-our remembered history-

2005-02-19T23:13:00.000+08:00

whoo.

AARON
ME
MARCUS
ABRIEL
NICK

CHAMPIONS

ENCORE

ENCORE. ENCORE

RUNNING AWAY

we WON the ycs talenttine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WON
CHAMPIONS
YES
US
running (A)way
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
we had an encore.
ENCORE
ENCORE
ENCORE

WHOO
we did it.
haha
yea.

special thnks to all of those who turned up! esp yl, hanqi, geng, justin, kevin n jeff.
RAWK ON.
\m/

ahya. she wasn't dere.
so saddening.
BUT WE WON!
n im still HIGH
WHOOO.

i heard some peeps wanna marry me!
feel free to do so! haha xPpPp

2005-02-18T23:18:00.000+08:00

its TMR.
yea. hais. big misunderstandings tdy.
glad evryting turned out alrite.

TMR
TMR
TMR
TMR
TMR
TMR
TMR

yesyes TMR

dictate the crowd eh?
im jus praying not to conk up.

boulevard of broken dreams...
here we go!

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don’t know where it goes
But it’s home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I’m the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a…

My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
‘Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I’m walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What’s fucked up and everything’s alright
Check my vital signs
To know I’m still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a…

My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
‘Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a…

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I’m the only one and I walk a…

My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
‘Til then I walk alone..

if only she's coming.
haha like the song goes: i walk a lonely road.

whoo. well, at least i haf my band!
r(A).
ahha yeahhhhhhhhhhhh

2005-02-18T00:10:00.000+08:00

whoo. i was so high jus now.
was damn lucky oso
but my luck jus ran out.
whoo.
so down ta Earth agn x)

this exhausting wk's coming to an end.
tests tests hw gig gig gig
whoo it's ending... on SAT

losing faith.
not in the gig dun wry.
haha jus her lor.
she's so far away
tink she may not make it fer the gig too.
im feeling that i mean nth to her.
guess it's really gonna be over.
well, like abriel says, crazy in love.
im holdin on still.
damn.

okay yong lian said sth real cool jus now.
dictate the crowds emotions!
haha yea
im gonna try my best. x)
WHOOO
SAT
6.30.
man, i've gtg slp now
cya

2005-02-17T21:14:00.000+08:00

ehhhh
i so

h
i
g
h

now!

s
h
i
t

damnit

haha NINETEENTH FEB
6.30
running (A)way.
i wanna run away.. haha.
HAHA

wish us luck!

i dun wan another pretty face
i dun wan jus anyone to hold
i dun wan my love to go to waste
i wan you n ur beautiful soul
ur the one i wanna chase
ur the one i wanna hold
i wun let another minute go to waste
i wan you n ur beautiful soul

im goin cra-Zzzzz
abt the gig
abt her

zZzZzzzzz

2005-02-16T23:34:00.000+08:00

im STRESSED

Shagged
Tired
Reckless
Exhausted
Slaggy
Slacked
Emotionless
Disfunctional

yea dat's me. im ~~fucked~~. OOPS
okay . i n marcus got the show running now.
haha practised alottt.
wish the best!

NINETEEN FEB LARH.

2005-02-15T22:45:00.000+08:00

we trying so hard
we're dying in vain
how can we suceed?

WE ARE ALL TO BLAME.
damn. this last min preparation fer the ycs tingy jus SUCKS and blows.
damnit. HELL!
last min solo to learn.
im praying dat i can make it larh.
wish me luck. :)

STRESS. sch.. so... man...yy.......TESTS.
haha im not really affected larh. is dat bad?
haha anyway i've studied larh.
real tired
left chinese now.
hai.
PACKED
3 tests tmr, 2 upcoming tests, upcoming performance.
im in a total state of mess now.
gettin sick, real tired, bt still studying.
den hardcore preparation fer performance.
damn.
i really in dip shit now.

the loneliness sets in
but its alrite.
haha no gers arnd.
feelin nth but bad now.

jus learnt how to play beautiful soul.
okok. back to study LARH.
BYE

im still i dick, im addicted to you

2005-02-14T23:15:00.000+08:00

i tink i pangseh-ed her.
im real SRY.

okay. we chilled at orchard wif sam, bernadette, cheryl, mac, marcus, sebby, manuel n luke.
went to marche (is dis how u spell it?)
ahha talked alot, crapped alot.
i sang boulevard of broken dreams fer sam n cheryl?
i know i cant sing larh.
haha yea. took neoprints.
dat's abt it fer my v'day. or wasit a mon?

haha okay performance, 19 feb.
i feel not ready.
nervous
hai.

den it's on to her agn.
i still addicted?
i tink she's pissed x(

haha yea, i guess it been a rather okay day tdy larh. haha. til next time, peace out-

2005-02-13T21:53:00.000+08:00

whoo. okay, i'v sorted out my tots!
thanks to my great fren marcus!
haha

random stuffs now

when ur having good luck, dun say it out, or it will be gone

starting to feel abit the no-ger-wants-me feeling. x)

my blog's in valentine's day theme! great song too. :)

legion rawks.
RAWKS.

and tmr's jus a monday to me. not v'day. haha

haa. real random.

2005-02-13T21:09:00.000+08:00

yuhoooo. 1 day of bday, n 2 days of cny visitation!
im back!

okay im in ONE PIECE
so is MY WALLET.
i won 70 bucks over these 2 days thru blackjack!
HAHA.
anyway, it doesn't really matters, jus fer the thrill.
terribly sorri to those who contributed to my winnings. x)

it been 2 cool n fun days.
real fun.
REAL REAL fun
thnks legion!
u peeps jus simply rawk my life :)
yea, so the fun has come to an end fer me.

next wk is common test wk.
im gonna study?
try larh.
my minds terribly messed up rite now.
haha, will any kind soul listen to me?
upcoming performance, not prepared.
tests.
cca.
stress's piling up.

and yes, tmr is vday.
bt i dun haf a date.
choices: lynette's party, tonn wif sebby, bernadette, mac n marcus, or jus simply rot.
it 9.15 now! shud i go and get a date?
well...
my mind's really messed up now!
messed up.

2005-02-12T01:10:00.000+08:00

WHOO
WHEE
PARTY!!!
TDY
RAWKED

THNKS GUYS. peeps who attended my party - CHERYL, SAM, YONG LIAN, MANUEL, MARCUS, ABRIEL, THAI LOONG, AARON, JEFF, KEVIN, BRYAN, MARK, LUKE. u peeps rawk my world! haha =)

to all my totful frens out dere who rmb-ed my bday all wish my happy bday, THNKS! all the above, mac, lynette, jenn, jen, annalyn, michelle, andrea, amy, weinan, roy, glenn, gab, boon, ambrose, shaun, quanjun.

yea. im super happy now. haha i lurve my prezzies. shin album, creed album, billabong t-shirt, billabong pencil box, metal pick, naruto figurines, cool badge, naruto ring. thnks peeps =)

ahha thnk God! im so lucky tdy, hee. okay at 6pm i tot almost nobody was coming. yea. den i worked out! whoo!!!!! okay, my bday's over. thnks evryone!

-haha. i figured it's over alr. haven seen her fer dunno how long? i dun even noe wad to sms her anymore. not say ask her out on v'day.-

yea. my bday ended fun. it rawked, yea. thnks!

2005-02-11T13:19:00.000+08:00

special entry to angie, lynette, michelle, annalyn, manuel, mark, glenn, kevin fer all ur msges! x)

THNKS! :)

2005-02-11T02:42:00.000+08:00

okie. i've done up a new template!
how isit?
haha im really sry if i forgot to reply some of ur sms-es tdy
cos i was real busy.
okie
dat's all
nite!

2005-02-11T01:34:00.000+08:00

Here's a love story to kick off me goin 16!

Lady : Why do you like me..? Why do you love
me?

Man : I can't tell the reason.. but I really like
you..

Lady : You can't even tell me the reason...
how can you say you like me? How can you
say you love me?

Man : I really don't know the reason, but I
can prove that I love you.

Lady : Proof? No! I want you to tell me the
reason. My friend's boyfriend can tell her why
he loves her but not you!

Man : Ok..ok!!! Erm... because you are
beautiful,

because your voice is sweet,

because you are caring,

because you are loving,

because you are thoughtful,

because of your smile,

because of your every movements.

The lady felt very satisfied with the man's
answer. Unfortunately, a few days later, the
Lady met with an accident and became
comma. The Guy then placed a letter by her
side, and here is the content:

Darling,

Because of your sweet voice that I love you...

Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot
love you.

Because of your care and concern that I like
you..

Now that you cannot show them, therefore I
cannot love you.

Because of your smile,

because of your every movements that I love
you..

Now can you smile? Now can you move?

No, therefore I cannot love you...

If love needs a reason, like now, there is no
reason for me to love
you anymore.

Do love need a reason? NO!

Therefore, I still love you...

And love doesn't need a reason

" Sometimes the best and the most beautiful
things in the world

cannot be seen, cannot be touched, but can
be felt in the heart "
---

yea. im 16!
it cny!
im goin cra-Z
not goin skl tmr.
bday party at 7 at my hse!
CHIONG.
okay. i sound high, bt im not. x)
it jus feels like another day.
yeayea.
anyway come to my party yea?!
haha :))))))

to anyone who has a date on valentines-

Tell her you think shes cool.
Tell her why you think shes so cool.
Smell her hair.
Talk to her in movie theatres.
Pick her up and pretend youre going to
throw
her
in the river; she'll scream and fight you
but
secretly, she`ll love it.
Hold her hand and skip.
Hold her hand and run.
Just hold her hand.
Pick flowers from other peoples gardens
and
give
them to her.
Tell her she's pretty.
Let her pay if she wants to.
Introduce her to your friends as the coolest
girl you
know.
Sit in the park and talk to her.
JUST TALK TO HER.
Take her to the library.
TAKE HER ANYWHERE.
Tell her dirty jokes.
TELL HER HAPPY STORIES.
TELL HER SAD STORIES.
TELL HER YOUR STORIES.
TELL HER ANYTHING
Tell her stupid jokes.
Write poems about her.
Just walk with her.
Throw pebbles at her window.
When she starts swearing at you, tell her
you
love
her.
Take her to shows of bands shes never
heard of.
Hold her hand in the mosh pit.
Let her fall asleep in your arms.
Call her.
Call her back if she calls you.
Sing to her, no matter how bad you are.
Carve your names into a tree.
Get her mad, then kiss her.
Give her piggy-back rides.
Go see her band play even if they really
suck
and
tell her they were great.
Give her space if she needs it.
Push her on swings.
Stay up with her all night when shes sick.
Make up pet names for her but cool ones
not
sappy ones.
Teach her guitar.
Lend her your cds.
Write on her.
WRITE ABOUT HER.
Make her mixtapes.
Write her letters.
Take her to cool shops and let her take
you to
even cooler ones.
Just hang out with her.
Listen to all the bands she mentions.
Dont tell her that her favorite bands suck.
When shes sad, hang out with her or stay
on
the
phone with her, even if shes not saying
anything.
Buy her ice cream.
Let her take all the photos of you she
wants.
Look into her eyes.
Slow dance with her even if the music is
fast.
TELL HER A SECRET.
Kiss her in the rain.
JUST KISS HER.
TRUST HER.
LOVE HER.
BE YOURSELF AROUND HER.
CHERISH HER
and when you fall in love with her tell her.

if you haf a valentines date, ENJOY. xD
hahaha, i dun.
im jus a kind hearted guy helpin dose lucky guys out dere.

hmm. lotsa interesting stuff on the internet lately.
pasted lotsa stuff on my blogs.
im BORED, okay?
i ran 2 rounds in punggol park fer the past 2 days.
finally gettin in shap agn.
OKAY. bye. HAHA

2005-02-06T23:31:00.000+08:00

OKAY. jus cleared my rm.
super clean now.

noticed 2 tings:
my frenster tesimonials are dead.
she's drifting away.
my hp seems so empty.
i am short of maney to buy a new electric.

bt guess wad?
im still high. HIGH
haha actually no la.
jus not sad, no happy.
kinda intermediate mood. x)
k gtta go slp! nite.

2005-02-06T21:38:00.000+08:00

okay. its been "vday vday" all over.
great
i haf currently NO date
:)
bt dat's not the point.
STOP WHINING.
i haf had ENUF
no date den NO DATE
haha u can jus chill out wif frens rite?
im 90% wifout a date alr.
cos *she's got sth on dat day
guess it will stay as jus another crush yea.
im jus deciding on where to chill out on vdae.

haha VDAY VDAY VDAY
evryone's got their targets eh?
mine's somewhat gone
now that we're here, so far away~ (staind song)
yea.
n vu dun jus anyhow get a date man.
i mean its vday?
valentines
valentines
my bloody valentine
heard dis song by good charlotte?
yea.
another translated song frm david tao.
"the streets they're filled wif couples holding hands.
wif the cold wind blowing, the loneliness sets in"
haha
lotsa valentine's day theme songs.
haa.

i noe im making no sense.
bt yea.
erm. i jus crappin larh rite.
coming up: my bday.
swt 16.
bt not excited.
wierd.
i tot i wud be.
guess wad man.
turning 16, single!
haha part of the excitment's gone cossa dat.
bt still gonna PARTY
PARTY THE HSE DOWN
okay not so hiong larh.
bt yea.
PARTY
if *she was there, it wud be cooler!

past few day cot up wif lotsa pple
cot up wif ambrose
cot up wif aaron
yea. somehow miss the good old times.
damn.
time passes too damn fast.

haha okay. the past few days i've been too crazy abt her.
realise dat we're drifting farther.
yea.
haha but i am still CRAZY abt her.
damn
one sided romance.
damnit.
DAMN.

my hp feels so empty too.
haha no sms-es lately.
n i had no time to sms too.
yea
empty fone.

okay. i've ran outta tings to say.
haha til next time

2005-02-02T23:09:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE!
swt 16!
mine's in 9 days. HAHA x)
swt 16!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yea. so erm. yea. erm
i juss freaking sick n mad tdy.
updated my frenster profile n pics.
shaved me erm. NO! jus jking.
yea. haha. dun wry. i NORMAL.

i am supposed to join back dance. how?
haha sianed-ed.

and sry larh. alr say sry. nwext time make time fer u guys larh.
u all kp alot leh.

jus found out tdy dat the cheapest ESP electric guitar is 1680 bucks!
cheap eh?
haha NEXT choice.

girls girls girls.
heard 'motley crue - girls girls girls' b4?
haha yea.
its gers gers gers.
tinkin alot abt dis ger lately.
during chi, her face jus flashed!
haha. i haf a crush agn!
anyway, sadly, it's one sided.

next big event. CNY!
hongbaos.
HONGBAOS
money.
MONEY.
mahjong!
poker
daidee.
whoo.
considering on pon-ing tues n fri next wk.
hmm.

next my bday!
11 feb.
i having a party.
dunno where
dunno how.
so how?!
haha okay
i will decide by sat n inform whoever wanna come.

NEXT. VDAY.
valentines!
or dinnertime
haha peeps are gonna haf so much fun on vday.
congrats man.
im jus gonna rot away i guess. =)
i haf no guts to ask her out on dat day.
anyway, she's having sth on dat day too.
so. any pathetic dateless peeps, pls msg me
n we can plan sth to rot together. cool rite?

NEXT. YCS FEST
PERFORMANCE
19 FEB
come a must come.
although im not sure if we are performing yet.
see us play:
Greenday - Boulevard of Broken Dreams.
YESH.
US
Running (A)way,
we are back.
not running away anymore
frm the seraphims to rawk ur asses away.

it's girls girls girls.
my minds messed up
lotsa stuff.
wad to do.
haha mebbe dat y im so high too.

SICK

haha i tink im making no sense anymore

SICK

okok. benn yooooo signing out now. PEACE out-

that look in ur eyes makes me tink abt you

2005-02-01T22:54:00.000+08:00

okay. tuition's ended n im feeling real sick rite now.
im really sry lately if i havn't had time to ask u peeps out.
jus been real packed. band jamming session. tests. had sum other stuff to attend to too.
gnna join back dance soon i guess? hai. jus gnna get more packed.
haha bt if u need anyone to chill out wif, jus ask me out yea?
im sure to make myself free :)

jus took a survey that says im 17 at heart!
haha "challenge authorities"
hell yeah.
haha i seriously tink i haf a crush agn.
she's jus on my mind.

im jus lookin forward to next wk.
newyr, my bdae!
whoo.

2005-02-01T19:52:00.000+08:00

tdy was was a real random day.
i dint plan anything.
evrything jus sorta striked me.

went to sch as usual.
took my geog n amaths test.
my amath's dead as usual too.
went to see goh abt the cca n he's forcin me to join dance
angeline tay actually forgot abt us takin the test.
so i went off arnd 2 wif chun yuan.
den wenta play soccer cos i had nth else to do.
i was sick man. haha almost felt like fainting in the court.
won 1 den lost 1.
yea. immediately grabbed some drinks at amk dere.
den at the bus stop, dere were these 2 wierd sn gers laffing at me.
i was like WTF?!
yea. den decided to go moses hse.
ended up playin mahjong dere.
i lost 70 cents =(
yea. so wenta meet dennis fer dinner.
n he came my hse.
he jus left.
n my tuition's soon!
damn sianed-ed feeling now.

she's got me goin nuts.
im tinkin abt her so often man.
she's gt me goin crazy.
haha. still considering if i shud take any action. hmm.

my life's jus so boring now.

2005-01-31T20:48:00.000+08:00

im goin crazy!
im so packed.
i wanna go see guitar.
ESP!!!

damn sian now
abit sick
leg pain.

my fallen angel.
she's drivin me cra-Z
bt i cant read her mind.
im missing you

haha wad was dat?
hmm. im not sure too!

damn
dat's inspiring me to make a song.

whoa ESP guitars are rawkin the hell outta me
i wnana get one!

2005-01-31T01:10:00.000+08:00

noone woke up fer morning mass tdy!
bt still, tdy has been one of the better days in my wk.
although im sick now. >.<
had lotsa fun crappin arnd the whole day.

haha, am i missing her? lol.

------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many RJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: 4 whole faculties. One fac to design the new bulb,one fac to test it out, one fac to market it and
one guy to write a stupid Email about lightbulbs.

Q: How many HCJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The whole school.....to compete with RJC.........

Q: How many VJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The whole school.......one to screw it in and the rest to cheer and wave flags and banners to give him/her support.

Q: How many NJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: NO LIGHT STILL CAN STUDY!!!!!

Q: How many AJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: They're too busy trying to be one of the top 5 JCs...

Q: How many ACJC students does it take to change lightbulb??
A: None......they use all their money to employ YJC to do it for them.

Q: How many YJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: None.....only one teacher to tell them what a lightbulb is in the first place and to demonstrate (how do you think they're able to change it for AC?)

Q: How many CJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: They'd prefer it darker.......... (hmmm...*raise eyebrow*)......

Q: How many JJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: None......Their physics is so bad that they make the male teacher cry.....

Q: How many TPJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: Would they bother??

Q: How many MJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None.They're too busy studying. trying not to get expelled..

Q: How many SAJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: None.....they believe in praying for it.

Q: How many NYJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: None.....they are still using oil lamps.

Q: How many SRJC students does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: Huh, wat litebarb ...

Q: Dun you guys wonder who wrote this?
A: MI!

Q: How many MI students does it take to change the lightbulb?
A: None. They think they are very bright already.
-----------------------------------------------------

haha some lame stuff i found on the internet.
no offence to any jc students!
haha. my life's real boring lately.

2005-01-30T01:55:00.000+08:00

some lame survey to get me slpy

-----------------------------------------
feb 14's suvey

1 - Who will be ur Valentine's
Date ?
you! (if ur a ger xP)

2 - What do u wish to receive on
Valentine's
a gf? nah.. haha let's be practical

3 - Any specific place you are going to
date at?
i haf no date -.-

4 - Who do u wish to be with for your
Valentine's Date but it is impossible ?
haa. nath's impossible yea? -.<

5 - How many years have u been
celebrating Valentine's ?
1 i guess? hey comeon dun laff x)

6 - Do u believe that maybe u
will meet ur love one on Valentine's ?
reality check: any ger on v'day will most likely be attached

7 - Who did u spent ur Valentine last year ?
skatin at the skatepark? lol. i lurved my skateboard

8 - Are u attach now ?
nope

9 - If u're Single
how are u planning ur Valentines Day ?
no plans.. might go out to watch Shall We
date myself by rottin at hme! oops.=X

10- Do u believe in Cupid ?
nah. i believe in angels =)

11 - Any msgs for ur love ones?
if u love me, den i LOVE YOU! x)
-----------------------------------

x) how was dat?
haha fighters in the wind was real nice.
the fighting scenes simply rocked
bt the storyline was abit corny though.
yea. to clear the book: i have no gf now.
so stop f-ing spreadin rumours.

2005-01-29T14:51:00.000+08:00

Ben moody & Jason miller - The End Has Come

Took from me all that I am
Left my soul and spirit dead
Killing everything in me
What is one use to be free

Now to drive away the pain
I'll destroy all I disdain
I'll become what I despise
Living someone elses life

(Don't back down)

Don't ever back down
Don't ever turn around
My end has come
So now I come for you

Now obsession rules my mind
This compulsion makes me blind
Searching out who ever runs
Or has stolen away my life

But I'm already dead

Don't ever back down
Don't ever turn around
My end has come
So I come for you

AHHHHH

You took my everything
I'll take your dying breath
I can't feel anything
I've come to send you to your death

A new heart with me
As might be just as quick
Through your tortured expens
Cuz I won't back down

Don't ever back down
Don't ever turn around
My end has come
So now I come for you

(Don't back down)

I'll drive you down
I'll beat you to the ground
My end has come
So now I come for you

DON'T BACK DOWN!
------------------------------------------

okay. finally sorta formed a band in sch.
no name yet. but yea. hmm the song above is rather nice
got keyboard, eletrice guitar. bt need a rather powerful vocalist.
current vocalist candidate: renjie
mebeb we will have to perfom chi songs like mayday or shin.
yea. life's straightening out finally.

i've seen through lotsa peeps.
when i was down, who was dere?
haha all those who were dere, thanks x)
jus got my life back!
whoooooooooooooooo!

hah. dese are wad some peeps always do:
me: "where ur goin?"
they: "dunno leh. gotta do some stuff"
me: "hmm. den wad ur doin?"
they: "nth la. jus some stuff."
n it ends up in jus goin to some pple's hse.
lol. bad liars man.wanna p.s. oso say sth better larh.

ahha mad a joke of my monitor.
u can't bring me down~
dare to book me?
mess wif me? ur dead man.
ur gonna lose ur post now xP
haha i insulted him in front or my form teacher sumore.
haha. guess he's crying somewhere at home now.
done a "petition" too. to "reconsider" his post. lol.

whoo. evrything's sortin out now.
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
whooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
x))

2005-01-27T14:14:00.000+08:00

apologies to jing
im really sry to hurt u.
sryfer all the hurt caused.

as fer U. i dunno if we can be frens anymore.
yea. u really went too far.

im not so pessimistic alr.
haha church still got a cool n mad fren like dennis
haha school got all my buds.
haha lookin on the brite side.
if u cant mix well, den dun mix.

sorta out all my tots.
life's straightenin out agn, finally. :)

as fer tdy, skl jus rawked.
very crap. jokes all over.
jus bein a dumbass foolin arnd class.
btw, my teacher called me an A student xP

im gettin on wif life.
same damn day,
but now wif diff faces

2005-01-26T22:44:00.001+08:00

someone's pissed wif me. i dun even noe wad i did to her.
anyway, if u choose to believe them, its fine.

haha okay. tdy was a really funny day. lessons were screwed n almost nth was taught.
den went to study in debate rm. played "soccer" dere.
came back. met dennis n laffed all the way til 10.30

whee. i swear i did nth.
bt frens are all leaving me. haha.
frm now on i will be called a loner :)

haha anyway. feelin abit shitty rite now.
not really in the mood to chat over msn. sry dudes. :)
chill n tk care.

i tot that u were my fren.
bt u jus left a mark n walked off.
this isolation, my desolation

2005-01-26T22:44:00.000+08:00

someone's pissed wif me. i dun even noe wad i did to her.
anyway, if u choose to believe them, its fine.

haha okay. tdy was a really funny day. lessons were screwed n almost nth was taught.
den went to study in debate rm. played "soccer" dere.
came back. met dennis n laffed all the way til 10.30

whee. i swear i did nth.
bt frens are all leaving me. haha.
frm now on i will be called a loner :)

i tot that u were my fren.
bt u jus left a mark n walked off.
this isolation, my desolation

2005-01-24T22:48:00.000+08:00

Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad,
Other things just make you swear and curse,
When you're chewing life's gristle,
Don't grumble,
Give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best.
And...

Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the light side of life.

If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten,
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle.
That's the thing.
And...

Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the right side of life,

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin.
Give the audience a grin.
Enjoy it. It's your last chance, anyhow.
So,...

Always look on the bright side of death,
Just before you draw your terminal breath.

Life's a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true.
You'll see it's all a show.
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And...

Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the right side of life.

Always look on the bright side of life!
Always look on the bright side of life!
Always look on the bright side of life!
Always look on the bright side of life!
Always look on the bright side of life!
Always look on the bright side of life!
Always look on the bright side of life!
Always look on the bright side of life!

whoo. how's dat? make ur bad day better?
yea. im the guy hu pple always pangseh.
the guy thta just slips outta ur minds wen ur having fun.
yea. dat's me. haha
tink i've given up on hanging out wif some church peeps.
perpetually pangseh-ed. x)

BUT, at least i've got some great company in church that wun p.s. me
pple frm sch like, fengyao, bryan, reuben, boon.
pple frm church like manuel, dennis n moses.
yep. im jus lookin on the brightside now. (after naggin by peeps like andrea xP)

yea. i've got a zuowen n ss essay to hand up tmr.
dennis, boon n manuel jus left. guess im gonna start soon.
yea. btw, i PASSED MY AMATHS test. :)
yep. so sicka thrashin boon at pro evo 4 oso xP
that's all man. tk care dudes

2005-01-23T22:14:00.000+08:00

whoo. wasn't in a good mood til abt 8?
sry if i dao-ed some u peeps.
was real pissed at my life.
yepp. im okay now.
gt a chem test tmr. jus started studyin =X
suffering frm pre-sch blues now

my insignificance - my distorted reality
i walk alone

2005-01-23T16:28:00.000+08:00

whoo. im so pissed inside, yet still smiling outside :)
my day was fucked. yea. bad day.
hmm nth else to say. yep.
haha nth's jus turning out rite anymore.

my insignifance-
it doesn't matter if im here.
my distorted reality-
no one needs me x)

so yea. u guys were rite. :)

tk care dudes!

slit my throat it's all i ever-

2005-01-22T23:55:00.000+08:00

hey! my 1 wk report cos so many pple are complaining.

okay. first. i got cot fer my hair n i went fer a haircut.
my hair's too damn short now. i hate my hair. damn. DAMNIT

then thurs there was this gig. all cat high bands.
went wif lynette. the bands jus simply rawked.
adrenaline OD, Ecnerret, Copyright infringement.
whoo! they RAWKED. literally.
they really rakwed man.
fer the first time cat high rocked.
den wondered arnd orchard til abt 12 i tink.
yea den went home.

okay as fer fri.
hmm. did really nth much.
played soccer in the morning
watched elektra n rotted the whole day.
finally bot a bag.

okay as fer tdy.
i met mark, luke, marcus n manuel fer lunch.
den we went to meet david to talk cock.
ended playing soccer n watching some ger play bball =X
went fer youth ministry meeting. n im actign as a soldier in the play.
okay here's the detail: Good Friday morning at 10am, 14stations skit by youths.
yep.
den aft that we played some soccer n crapped arnd.
yea that's all.

haha my life is rotting. ever heard boulevar of broken dreams?
yea. im jus living a life of broken dreams. nth's goin rite.
i've got the "no ger will ever like me" kinda feeling.
n pple are asking me why am i single?
okay here's the ans: nobody will ever want me!
haha sad truth. x) accepted it alr.
my band is also in broken dreams now.
since the start of the yr, we haf not jammed in a full band.
my Os are this yr, n i cant find the mood to study.
ahha yea. i am a no-life guy now.
jus an insignificant
thnk God fer my frens man.

------------------------
crap song: loser love

the lights are out and ur all alone
on ur bed tinking how it all began
i grabbed the chance, i pushed my luck
i've reached the end n i cant go back.

i tot it through, i've played my part.
i gave u love but it all was fucked.
i grabbed the phone, i dialed ur num.
u jus hanged up n im broken up.

chorus:
and im jus not another crazy guy.
goin fer ass, boobs, n ur 32-25-30
it just that look i saw in ur eyes dat day
i fell fer u n u tore me up.

den one day, u called me up.
u asked me out, n i brightened up
u grab sum contacts, n ran along.
u used my cash n im real bankrupt.

one fine day. on the streets
i saw u makin out wif my best pal.
i turned away, i've broken down
i've fallen down n i cant get up.

chorus:
and im jus not another crazy guy.
goin fer ass, boobs, n ur 32-25-30
it just that look i saw in ur eyes dat day
i fell fer u n u tore me up.

right here,
right now,
the truth-
its out.
my heart
my cash
u took it all
u played
wif me.
u went overboard.
my life is wrecked.
-----------------------------

my life's like a dark alley.
bt i see no lite at the end.

2005-01-17T23:37:00.000+08:00

whoo. been real mad over the wkend. relax abit.
sat was quite crap. overslpt til 1.30
abriel woke me up n i went fer jamming.
den we waited fer aaron.
n finally we jammed.
den nth much happened aft dat.
wondered arnd wif mark, marcus, luke, chris n louis arnd church.
even played pepsi cola x)

sun, woke up fer morning mass at 7am
ate breakfast wif lynette.
had 3 monkey sightings.
went fer rciy.
den went fer legion.
okay the fun comes rite aft that.
aft legion we went to kovan. me, sebby, chris, bernadette n mac.
den sebby n chris went fer curia.
yea. so we waited fer them fer 1 n a 1/2 hr liddat.
ate the beef noodles over there n ate ice cream!
yea. the ice cream was good.
den we went to plaza sing.
crapped arnd dere til 8+
yea. the cousins, bernadette n mac were real mental dat day.
tink sec 3's stress's gettin to bernadette, =X
haha yea.

as fer tdy, BORING
sch as usual. slpt in sch tdy.
went to study jus now wif the usual peeps.
haa. that's my day.
BORING.
yea.

hah n it's wierd how pple attitude towards me keep changing.
haha one min so friendly, den so cold agn.
wierd.

2005-01-15T01:19:00.000+08:00

whoo. CHIONG.

lotsa stuff lately. juggling 2 bands. (running (a)way's the main one)
was real busy, wif 2 tests sumore. amaths n phys.
okay the tests are over!
so i jus chionged the whole of tdy away.
played soccer til like 12 jus now.

highlights!
11feb: bday party! (venue soon to confirm)
14feb: lonely valentine! x)
19feb: r(a)'s gig!

yea. ahha. toked lotsa stuff abt steads lately.
my jies all askin me to get a stead.
haha like so easy liddat.
evryone's attached.
noone likes me.
im a living love trajedy! x)))
yea. so most likely im jus gonna stay single.
no more disappointments in it too, yea?
haha yea. stay happy.
my crushes n stead so far haf only broke me.
so yea. SINGLE.

i looked in her eyes, and i saw love.
but it was jus an illusion, it was jus another heartbreak.

2005-01-13T23:05:00.000+08:00

okay. big wk. BIG.

amaths test tmr! qualifying test! its shit man. lotsa chapters.
got a phy test tmr dat i din even touch. damn.
stressed.
got cot twice fer hair dis wk. dint cut. barely scraped pass.
busy! real busy. i haven rested for real long.
study. jam. upcoming performance.
i need a break! DAMNIT.

haha. on a brighter tone.
T.E.G had Fr Fred tdy.
the meetin wasn't that bad. quite fun.
i finally relaxed abit.
jus gotta let it go at times.
really THNKs to evry one who wish me good luck fer my amaths.
fr. Fred, sam, cheryl, marcus, fengyao, bryan, kenneth
i need it! x)
okay. jus gonna mug til i die now yea?
cya arnd peeps. ;)

2005-01-09T23:08:00.000+08:00

whoo! sch's gettin real dumb nowadays.
my form teacher's a bitch at times bt she's still alrite
bt she's real dumb oso.

incident no. 1 -

1 of my fren who was retained (which means he's no more in my class), entered the class aft recess. she dint notice! den he actually went to seat in frnt of her! n she still dint noe. she stared at him n continued lesson. den he asked her whether he cud go toilet. n so he went, n nv came back. went back to his class.

incident no. 2 -

she started complaining abt the amnt of hw she has to mark. that evry1's handing in on fri. so tell us to hand in earlier. den i jus shout, " cher, i volunteer. i DUN hand in. help you!" haha she lost fer words.

lotsa other dum stuff happened larh. but nth really much to mention. hah sch gettin interestin agn, since sec 1 man. life's gettin better :)))

yea, had jamming tdy. FINALLY. looks bright. looks hopeful. damn. we are finally gettin it rolling. as fer the song, we're not saying yet. haha, suspense. xD

jus helped someone research on nasal cancer! haha i am a helpful boy eh? lol. hmm guess that's all fer now! my nanny asked me to go to slp! haha xD

2005-01-04T22:32:00.000+08:00

back to school
damn its boring. school still sucks.
thnk God fer all my fren in my class man.
our seating position currently rawks.
all my buddies are arnd me.
somehow i've been feeling very bored.
hai. look like im gonna take real long to adapt back.
went back to j8 agn, finally. aft so LONG!
it's changed alot man.

nth's really going rite now.
im screwin up evry lil tingy im doin
damn. but im still lookin on the brite side like a dumbass.
wee. jus hope nth bad's gonna happen.
haha. given up on love fer now.
yea n im holdin a bday party fer myself!
11 feb! my hse! keep urselves free!!!!!!
swt 16 yea? ;) haa. no swt love. xP
y the hell m i suanin myself?
damn im mad

2005-01-02T19:47:00.000+08:00

well guess wad? 2004 has ended!
these memories, they will nv be forgotten.
all my frens i've got, all my loved ones :)
i swear i'll bring this memories til my grave man.

jus a couple of thnks to evryone out there.

to marcus, mark, luke, christina, louis, manuel, shaun, dennis. mac, aaron, abriel, nick - you guys have really spiced up my life! all the fun we had, cayc events, parties, hanging out, bball, soccer, havin pure fun :)

to feng yao, bryan, jeff, ziyan, boon, yong lian, quanjun, gengrong, glen, kenneth, zhihao, danny, ambrose - you guys haf really gave me life in school! soccer, hanging out in toilets, getting locked outta class, gettin punished, even til gettin in deep shit. haha thnks guys.

to evryone in legion!! moses, marcus, luke, manuel, louis, samantha, joanna, cheryl, emmiline, sebby, ben chong, chris, mac, bernadette, aaron - you guys are family man. best grp in church! noisy but fun. nativity rawks wif you guys arnd. :)

to all my frens out there. jen, lynette, vick, andrea, fiona, anne, val, michelle, stef, angie, sandra, weinan, mingwei, kok hwee, yihong, david, michael, marc, matt - you all will always be rmb-ed n i nv regreted knowin you all or even spending moments wif ya all. my memories. :)

okay. that's abt it. sry if i left anyone out. but as long ur here, yea, ur my fren X)

here's onto how i spent the countdown man.
countdown 2004!
okay. at 3pm on 31st dec 04,
i went to suntec wif mac, samantha, sheryl, stef, sebby, marcus, luke, manuel.
we played arnd there til 6+ n ate at crystal jade! good food! :)
den we went to the arcade dere n played lotsa crazy games like the bball one.
n two chio gers gave me their tickets! haha jackpot?
yea. den arnd 8, some of us went back to church to countdown.
the countdown at church was GOOD.
yea. passed the present to lynette too.
den we went back to esplanade aft the countdown.
we walked the whole nite. esplanade to boat quay to clarke quay.
lotsa drunk peeps there. wonder how they're gonna react wakin up in a jail on new yr's day.
"hmm.... hey! its new yr! wad are these walls?"
den we went back to church in the morning arnd 7am.
n fer our early morning new yr day entertainment, a monkey outside church!
entertained us til the mass at 9. even took a pic of it.
yea. so aft the mass, i grabbed some slp.
went out wif christina, louis, luke, mark.
den went wif lynette fer dinner.
den went out wif dennis n mark.

yea. so that's all fer my new year's eve n day :)

new yr resolution: work HARD fer my O's
(promised too many pple to works hard alr xP)
yea. so 2004 ended wif me bein single (sad), but wif my cool frens.
kinda messed up rite now. pre-sch-blues.
tmr, sch begins.
its a new yr.
its my O's
i've gotta work hard!

2004-12-31T13:11:00.000+08:00

my hols are ending off real bad.
there's nowhere fer me to countdown.
it jus feels like another day.
haha nvm. n btw, in the previous entry i was not saying i was despo.
haha i was jus a lil outta my mind yest

2004-12-30T22:48:00.000+08:00

2 words: fucked up.

okay. tdy cud say is one of the worst day of my life.
damnit. okay the situation was that i was prepared to go out tdy

haha woke 11am in the morning. den receive the sms that not plan was cancelled. den i had the sian feeling. played my com. my mum came in n i quarelled wif her badly (she started it). damn. sick n tired, i went back to slp. 12pm i got a call frm manuel to watch meet the fockers. so we were supposed to meet at 12.40 at church. i left hse at 12.30. at 12.35, manuel called to delay the meeting til 1.30 at mrt instead. okay... i went back home. at 1.30 i was there alr. waited til 2. okay, i tot "look on the bright side.". damn we reach cine n the show was sold out. great. we missed the show. walk arnd orchard. met chris n louis. played pool. totally pajiao. missed evry shot. den went back hougang, and manuel vomitted in the mrt. finally aft the cleaning up, we went back. went for t.e.g (church grp) n stuff. felt a lil awkward, youngest there tdy. damn. recieve an sms that said my fren had BRAIN DAMAGE? wtf man. lucky that was fake. finally, im hme here blogging. hais. bad BAD day.

haha if not fer chris, manuel, louis n shaun, my day might haf been much worse. whew. thnk God oso that my fren is alrite. im in no mood to chat rite now man. =X tmr's new yr. wad am i to do? boon lay? esplanade? church? haha damn. i may jus be rotting at hme or what so ever.

yea. its nobody's fault that im feeling screwed now.
haha im jus down on my luck.
jus hoping things wud get better :)
haha and ya la. i dint fall for a ger who likes someone else larh. haha relax peeps.
frm now on, im gonna fall fer a ger who returns my feeling only
lol if only there was a ger who likes me. (xP)
haha nvm. im jus crapping. too bored.

2004-12-30T13:03:00.000+08:00

i am a lagger.

haha damn. i m laggin real bad.
hols ending. evryone's abt to complete their hol hw. i haven started
bands formed way aft mine get to gig before us, real soon
love's in the air. evryone has seemed to find their 'dear' alr. not me
lag,laggin,lagger x)

real disappointed in some stuff man.
wen will our band start practicing properly?
damn. evryone's 'always not free'
like i the fucking free happy-go-lucky asshole.

3 more days to sch reopening. whoa its been a fast hol.
im gonna get so screwed wen i return man.
well, jus gona try to enjoy my remaining time if i cud.

2004-12-28T19:47:00.000+08:00

whee. bballed in the rain! biking later too.
damn. its the heartbreak countdown.
SCHOOL! damnit.
n im even having my o's next yr. as in the O'ss!

really nida clear some stuff man.
i am frm cat high whether u believe it anot. (damn. i hate my sch)
i haf no gf even if u insist i do.
i haf no crush current so stop assuming i haf.

yea. this hols werent that bad aft all.
lotsa frens to go WILD wif.
justy that i was lil lonely at times.
i love legion!

2004-12-26T01:02:00.000+08:00

it hurts wen the one u love doesnt likes you
it hurts much more wen u see her loving another guy.

haha. damn. i tot i was over her.
feeling real fucked-up rite now
like a lil bit of down + disappointed

special thnks to christina, mark, luke, louis n manuel.
damn. u guys cheered me up! :)
thnks ALOT!

my only christmas wish this year
find *her

2004-12-25T16:55:00.000+08:00

damnit. this christmas is boring
love is in the air man
lotsa couples now
happy endings :)
best wishes to all the couples out there

yea n its xmas now!
bt over here, im starting to rot.
feeling a lil depressed now.
disappointed in sum pple too.
now if i had 1 wish, it wud be the ger i like beside me rite here.
bt that's impossible

this christmas was real boring.
nothing much to do in church
i tink im gonna spend my new yr countdown at esplanade instead

2004-12-24T14:17:00.000+08:00

okay. jus went on a testimonial spree earlier on.
merry xmas to evry1!

2004-12-23T21:50:00.000+08:00

lettin go

evryday i wake up
in a point blank frame
my hands tied up
and i cant get a slip
im forced to school
my grades all so gone
jus one more screw-up
n i wud be DONE

i jus wanna let it go
this feelings, they're tearing me
im breakin frm wad i used to be
n i jus wanna let it go

then one day i woke up
this face appeared to me
my heart went (pomp-pomp)
n i knew it was love
to see her there
wif her eyes so clear
but she said no
n i went UhOh!

i jus wanna let it go
this feelings, they're tearing me
im breakin frm wad i used to be
n i jus wanna let it go

it jus another day
it all feels the same
the same sad faces
wif that broken frown
they shout it out ("hey brudder")
n they stab you ("rite later")
they say, its a good life
bt damn, HELL NO!

n now im in this corner, all broken inside
the emotions pull me in, i can't stop this tide
im drowning in this society, bt i aint no casualty!
and now im jus letting it go

i jus wanna let it go
this feelings, they're tearing me
im breakin frm wad i used to be
n i jus wanna let it go

yea.... let go.
-----------------------------------------------

how's that fer a song?
this mebbe one of running (a)way's songs in he future!
the tune's all out too.
been real busy lately n haven had a chance to be online like this.
tmr's christmas man!
its gonna be merry!

okay over the past few days, i attended a party, did lotsa crap, bot the presents.. yea dat's about it. the party was quite cool. i got forfeited to sing a xmas song to an unknown neighbour. damn. if tot that was bad enuf, man, the neighbour slammed the door on me! haha but the whole party was still real cool. focused on the alpha course tingy, a christian programme.

i jus found the answer.
it's no. bt im, fine wif that
jus feeling a lil down now
some fucker jus said that i'll nv get a gf.
yea, somehow its true. =X
bt it's christmas tmr!
its time to be merry!
kay. wun be online real soon oso.
take care evry1!