Sunday, August 29, 2004

kay, it's 12.52 now. dere's alcohol in my head. bt im not slpy. no mood. all of the sudden a crappy mood swing. argh. hais, i tink my life really screwed rite? studies crap, frenship probs, love probs. evryting. im writin dis wif a damn mixed up feeling now. n crap, im listening to david tao - ji mo de ji jie (lonely seasons). dis is crap.

k had sum absolut vodka earlier on. had alot more 3 days ago.. hais, my studies are totally screwed dis term. deteriorating by passing days. i dunno y. im starting to buck up. bt it's still screwed. retain? i dunno. i really dunno. straight Fs dis term. im screwed. real screwed. retain's really a path dat i'll seem to take now. last yr mid-term i was still 5th in the lvl. bt im nth bt crap now. screwed. im screwed. argh. onto my bball team.. nan xing dui. hais. more screwed. all my bball frens.. my long-time frens. it really hurts to fall out wif ya guys dat day. im really sry, bt im not gonna be in the team anymore. i cnnt take dat amnt of dependacy on me alr. i said it b4. it taxes too much on me. sry guys. it's not dat i duwan 2. it's jus dat i can't take it. bt in my heart, ya gys will always be my best frens. although i noe u all are pissed wif me now. hais, im sry. huh... onto lurve? i dunno wad feeling is this now. i dunno whether i lyke u. bt the words u say can really hit me deep inside. nv had dis kinda wierd feeling b4? in lurvve? not in lurve? im feeling real screwed now. inoe some things are meant be n some aren't... bt, it's not easy to do dat. no my feeling's lyke all mixed. sad, pissed, tired. i dunno how ta describe it.. the feeling is worst den getting reject. haa. wad the.

okay, i dunno why im feeling dis all the sudden. the alchohol? i dunno. act tdy started of ahppily, went to play bball n soccer at serangoon.. came back, bathed n slpt. den at 4 went to St theresa convent to see fr.fred wif mac, marc n antho. bt we missed him. haa. he was in hougang.. crapp. haa, den we wenta boat quay to drink.. bt cudn't see my usual frens dere. cudn't buy. so we came back to hougang n drank my absolut vodka. haa. it was a rather cool day. bt i dunno y im feeling so screwed now. i hate dis feeling, n i dun really noe wad it is! crapp.. hais no mood to write on alr, quite a long entry anyway. nitex world. tk care

plugged in at 12:51 AM