Thursday, June 17, 2004

hey... im finally reviving mi blog aft like 1 year? yarrh. I've been feeling rather down lately, and yarrh.. sry 2 all those i've worried. if i've been behaving wierdly or madly, n it pissed u guys off.. i'm sry again.

sry 4 all the problems i've given everyone lately. it's just that i've been feeling a lot of stuff lately. my godsis's is leaving fer good in july, my bro's leavin in july fer further studies also, 1 of my best frens left fer australia last year too, n sum of my frens are also leaving. mi grandma died a few mths ago.. yarhh.. so sumhow all dese are piling up n i've been lyk depressed.

sometimes i feel that i can never fit in anywhere, cos i'm always feeling outta place. and it's like nobody sorta like care whether im there or even juz ignore me or don't ask me 2 go out at all. sumtimes i just feel that everyone's leaving me out, n im just one of those commonly known "extras"... it's everywhere i go.. church, school, skate... the onli pple who really understands me are mi old pals. so since i cnnt fit in anywhere else, i mebbe goin back to my old pals agn... still rmb our motto. (though i took sucha long time to quit.)

i don't know if what im feeling now is real, but it certainly feels real. n the sometimes mi heart just aches so hard... i've prayed, bt i doesn't seem 2 help at all. so at least fer now, i tink it's better for me 2 return to my old clique. yeahh... n i know i've promised some pple that i'll not get in trouble, n im realli gonna let ya all down man. sry. yeahh... dat's abt it. just wanted 2 let it all out.

here's a song that's been stuck on my mind..

What happened to you
You've played the victim for so long now in this game
What I thought was true
Is made of fiction and I'm following the same

But if I try to make sense of this mess I'm in
I'm not sure where I should begin
I'm fallin
I'm fallin

Now I'm in over my head
with something I said
Completely misread
I'm better off dead
And now I can see
How fake you can be
This hypocrisy is beginning to get to me

shhooo, i gotta go play bball soon. so 2 all dose out there who even cares, tk care. bye.

plugged in at 8:03 PM